That time you didn't think recovery was possible.

​Today is Thursday. Just another day to some.
Today when I woke up. my gratitude could not be measured.
Today I have 17 years of recovery from Anorexia after 14 years of fighting, 4 treatment programs and endless hospitals.
Last October I wrote about what turning 50 meant to me. It was unexpected to say the least.

What you may take for granted. some battle fiercely on a daily basis.
Without too much stress you rose in the morning, enjoyed a simple breakfast, worked out a bit, showered, dressed without too much thought and got on your way.
Someone battling an eating disorder wakes and is surprised they made it through another night.
Someone battling an eating disorder may find themselves struggling to get out of bed due to a lack of energy and depression that consumes their body and mind.
Someone battling an eating disorder may lay in bed in tears for the thought of eating breakfast is just too much to face.
Someone with an eating disorder cannot think of doing any of the things you do in routine without traumatic results.
Someone battling an eating disorder is feeling lost, alone, judged and wishes the world would turn away.
 
What comes simple to you is the most difficult road one with an eating disorder will stumble through.
I remember.
I don’t want to forget.
The journey I walked allowed me to grow and heal in ways I never imagined possible.
The journey I walked was lonely, but I was not alone.
Recovery does not look perfect.
Recovery looks different to each one walking through it.
Recovery is a journey, not a destination.
Saying ‘yes’ to life will always be a way I honor those who said yes to me when I most needed it.
So, today, I will always mark the occasion in gratitude...because I remember.
I remember today is a gift as I get to experience the other side of recovery.
I remember today those who I have walked with that did not make it as far as I did.
I remember today those who still battle body hatred in every breath they take.
I remember today those who are fighting to be able to write a similar story.
 
If you know someone who is battling this disease or you yourself are quietly fighting…reach out.
I am here.
I will listen.
I will not let you be alone.
You can recover.
You can love your body.
You can love yourself.
You can come to the other side.
You can find your voice.
I will be waiting for you.