Anam Nostos House Blog

​Vulnerability is My Superpower
 
“Open your hands, if you want to be held” ~Rumi
 
Vulnerability is a very real and human presence in one’s life that is often not given the respect that it deserves. I have written about this often for it resonates with me deeply. I simply love how author, Brene Brown speaks of this phrase.

Do you recognize vulnerability in your life?
How do you experience vulnerability?

In my work I am constantly called to access my most vulnerable side. I in turn challenge those around me to do the same. I admit I am not always successful be it myself sharing as deeply as I can or instilling the confidence and security for others around me to do so. This is humanness at its best.

I found it can truly depend on the energy with another person given the moment. If the surroundings do not mirror the confidence and peace needed, it can be difficult to access the courage to share in vulnerability.

We all find ourselves vulnerable at one point or another in life. We all walk through our own definitions of trauma. And that is ok. It is better than ok, it is heroic.

When we are vulnerable, we are truly living. I need to remind myself of that truth more than I do. We access our brave regularly, but I am going to bet not many of us recognize it or can name it in that same moment of experience.

If I were to dwell in the silence of fear or trauma, I would not be here. Do I doubt the process at times? Hell yes! I do not have enough fingers on which to count the times where I have put myself out there to then question my sanity in doing so. I can even tell you about the many times where I ended up wounded and feeling more desolate. Though I would not take either back or apologize for walking through that specific moment or the vulnerability in my trauma.

When I take leaps in sharing of myself and my journey, I am certain it is for another needing to hear it, needing the support and needing the important reminder to keep going.

I had a recent quite raw and emotional unexpected time when my vulnerability was screaming as I found myself drowning in uncertainty and past trauma. Trauma can be defined differently for each of us. It tends to appear at different moments in one’s life with more reason than we are able to understand. We must not hold or carry shame in identifying it, rather, humility in walking the road to understanding it.

I have found that vulnerability and trauma go hand in hand. When we are able to focus the trauma by placing a name, story, or emotion on to it, it has less power over us allowing the lesson being offered to come forward. When we embrace the vulnerability without shame, it helps us to walk through it with more self-awareness and ease. When this awareness envelopes us, healing begins.

The trauma that sits within anyone is often their unique personal story that is waking within their soul. This is vulnerability at its core. The release happens when the balance in one’s journey aligns as we explore how the trauma has molded who we are today. It is not always easy to define, but when we take the pause, it breathes within our bodies and tells us of that time when trials lifted us up, rather than crushed us.

This humility is what holds us all together collectively. When we speak our stories with each other, we inadvertently could be saving someone else from their shame, darkness, or struggle. Consider this when you are wanting to sit in the silence or fear.

Some days we wear our trauma and our story loudly. We do not always mean to, but there are just moments we simply do not know how to hold it in our hands. It overflows needing us to ask for help to carry it. I know there are moments I find myself too tired after years to hold it any longer. Those are the moments of frustration when I know too much to be ignorant to the challenging work in walking through it. Heroism. I struggle to find my courage most at those moments as do we all. This is when we are most vulnerable.

Though the moments of gratitude are more, the moments of gratitude are stronger, the moments of gratitude are what keep us going knowing there is a good to each word we put voice to and step into as we continue to walk. We must remind ourselves that the gratitude will come when we are in the middle of pain and the gratitude will carry us through to other side.

Can you trust this process?

I continue to write about my journey often over the years, it is what keeps me grounded. I believe in owning our truth. I believe there is always someone who is locked away in their personal shame, vulnerability and fear needing to hear others’ stories to find the light.

When you hide the scars, when you push down your woundedness it only allows you to create more trauma on top of the trauma you already have experienced. When you hide you are not honoring the courage it took to survive. You are not honoring the story that made you who you are today.

I am not afraid anymore to talk about this journey. I learned when I talk about it, it releases the power I once thought it had over me. I learned when I talk about it, I continue to heal. And it allows me to embrace healing as a lifelong journey. This thinking is what sets us free.

I used to think that I could be ‘healed’ completely and move on never to look back. I believe that is what got me into my struggles and battles within myself that would have no end until I let go. That is why in this moment I believe we must remind ourselves as I am doing here of our vulnerability, courage, and humanness.

We need to stop thinking about ‘me’ or ‘I’ and know there is a greater meaning guiding ‘us.’ People need to know they are not alone in the steps they walk. We are walking side by side. We are all a work in progress.
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What will your brave look like today?

How do you first view a situation when it first presents itself to you?

Do you react immediately without pause?

Do you fail to see the beauty, the positive or the gift in the situation that is in front of you within the moment at hand?

It is so easy to get caught up in situations that we can't physically change. It is stubbornness at its best. But think about it. You are being given this situation. You can be stubborn and let it get the best of you for it isn't what you had wanted, or you can choose to look at it in a different light.

You can come at it with negativity, or you can choose to look at it from every angle that it presents and find the one that works to your benefit. 

When we take the time to pause and look at a situation in a different light, a different perspective, one may just be receiving more than they ever thought possible from that gift. We may find that we are open to change a narrative or perspective and we eventually fall into what is meant to be for us in that moment.

What perspective will you choose? 

How often do we look at others thinking they are living a life we wish we could live? We want to be bold, wild and free! Well, what is real about that statement is that we can do all of those things in smaller simpler ways. We can take risks that are these things to us and offer them to others. We can try to do the one thing that scares us most and see how it brings us alive! What is something you could do today that you have been holding back? Risk adventure and see how it brings light to you and others!

Do you take time to affirm yourself?

Think about it for a moment. Do you speak about yourself kindly and with respect?

Most people have an awfully challenging time considering this idea for even a moment. Some consider it selfish or of ego to think of themselves at all. Many often question their personal worthiness. It is a human response, though harmful at the same time.

It has taken me a long time to be kinder to myself, to show myself the respect that I would show others in my life. I have learned that when I am able to see my personal value and truly embrace it, I then can be an example to others.

When we see our value, others see our value. When others see our value, they are able to consider their own.

​What will you say about yourself today?
How will you affirm your personal journey?