Anam Nostos House Blog

Do you fight for yourself? Think about it... I can honestly say that there have been many times where I give in too easily no matter what the situation is before me. It is easier, I can question my worth and honestly 'fighting for oneself' is a loaded concept. Today, I can recognize all the ways that I have indeed fought hard for my journey, me as a person, my worth and most profoundly fought to love myself. In walking and owning these steps along the journey...I recognize I am always becoming. The difference today opposed to my younger years when my voice was silent, I stand proud of who I am in this body, in this voice and on this path. How about you?

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I come back to this powerful statement often. It is a constant validation I need as I step from day to day. We all have a story. Some have more traumatic stories than others. but they are all equally valuable. We must continue to recognize our story, see the truth of our story, and then move forward writing the ending, rather than allowing others to write it for you. You are the only one that has the final say in how you walk through it. How will you own your story today?

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“Woundology” is a term coined by Caroline Myss to describe how people can become overly identified with their wounds. 

Why do you think we are more comfortable staying wounded?
Why do we find more solace staying within our pain?

We often understand our pain more than we identify with wellness. Life is challenging at any given moment, but we know how to sit in our pain. It can be easier than doing the demanding work to embrace healing.

I wonder how we can step away from being defined by our wounds or stories of pain in a meaningful and sensitive manner that can allow us to honor our journey, but not be held back by it?

What if today we named just ONE strength, then proceeded to honor it. Be with this process. Embrace gratitude and awareness around it. When the process feels easier and lighter, we then choose another attribute. We keep doing this until we find ourselves releasing our wounds and the story that we held on to.

What if we stopped re-exposing ourselves to the trauma and embrace life fully for what it is in the present moment?

Maybe it is time to honor, experience and breathe through our pain by living.

Today's Challenge: I want you to compliment FIVE people throughout your day. The FIRST Five you see.

Yes, I understand this can be a challenge. EVERY DAY I pay a compliment to one person. I have been doing it for years. It can almost be self-serving for it brings me such joy to watch people's entire demeanor change in a matter of seconds.

This is a reminder to lift people UP often. We are not here to live without love, without awareness, without compassion and without basic human skills. We need each other.

Yes, the person you don't even know walking down the street. We NEED each other. So, get to it! The first five people and I would love to hear how it goes!

​Happy Complimenting! Oh, and I love your smile!

This is my daughter from about ten years ago...

I love it so much for she embodied love, gratitude, and beauty in this moment.

Nothing defined her, but HER.

Thankfully, she still does her best to fight the world around her today, trying to measure her beauty by size, appearance, accomplishments and more.

She is our constant reminder to pause, look in the mirror and envision the younger you. Honor her/him in THIS moment every day!

Love your body for all the things it is and does for you in this moment.

You are more than the shell that you live in, you are more.

Go celebrate the beautiful YOU today and always!!

Not Worthy When, Worthy Now
 
What does this sound like to you?

We walk through life measuring our lives based on what we have achieved, acquired, or experienced in life thus far. We are worthy when we have a better job, we are worthy when we find our soul companion, we are worthy when we have a nice car or when we have children, and we are worthy when society says so.

How about, 'I am worthy now,' not when. How about worth is not measured in what I have or what I have achieved, but rather just because I AM.
 
You are worthy now.
I am worthy now.

Worth is not measured, it just is.

How can you remind yourself of your worth daily?
Do you see your worth?
What is one thing about you that clarifies your worthiness?

Now, go remind someone else today!
Did you hear that? You are worthy because you are... ​

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Before I die, I want to...

Have you ever found yourself making this statement? I think we are all human in that we constantly worry and think about how we are showing up in the world. I know for myself; aging has taken on a different feeling as I crossed over half of my life. A life I didn't expect to be living this long. 

I have spent my whole life making lists of things I wanted to do, places I wanted to go and people I wanted to experience. This is human. But I want to remind you to show up now. 

Every day I wake up I try to turn one of my 'no' statements into an action, 'yes!'  Life is too short to not live it in the now, for this moment that we are breathing and living. While there are endless extraordinary experiences we can have in life, sometimes the ones that make the biggest impressions are right in front of you. And they are not very big at all.

So, today, take one of your 'before I die, I want to...' thoughts and turn it into doing something smaller that is right there in front of you waiting to be experienced.

​Not Worthy When, Worthy Now
 
What does this sound like to you?

We walk through life measuring our lives based on what we have achieved, acquired, or experienced in life thus far.
 
We are worthy when we have a better job, we are worthy when we find our soul companion, we are worthy when we have a nice car or when we have children, and we are worthy when society says so.

How about, 'I am worthy now,' not when. How about worth is not measured in what I have or what I have achieved, but rather just because I AM.
 
You are worthy now.
I am worthy now.

Worth is not measured, it just is.
Did you hear that? You are worthy because you are... 
 

Intuitive eating. Buzz words. You likely hear these words often as our culture moves through the never-ending quest for healthy living.

Intuitive eating: trusting your body (hunger cues) to make food choices that feel good for you, without judging yourself or the influence of diet culture.

Everyone else's definition aside, what do those words mean to YOU?
Do you know how to eat intuitively?
Do you know what that would look like for you?

I speak of this often as it was the key to the beginning of my recovery over 20 years ago. At first attempt it was terrifying. At the second attempt it was uncomfortable. At the third attempt I was intrigued.

After years and years of mindfully practicing this art of eating, my love of food and cooking grew. More importantly, I began to make a personal connection to food and my body.  Once I made this connection, I could not deny that I did indeed have it within myself to walk into a new path of eating, nourishing, and embracing food for what it is, not for what I considered it to be for so many years as my evil.

When we eat intuitively, we honor our body in the present moment. We honor its resting place. We honor the journey it takes to wellness.

Take a moment today and try it.

Unearthing you...

When I came across this online, it stopped me in my mindless scrolling. Read it. Read it again. And again.

"There can be a whole world inside us that's been buried alive."

The raw truth of this statement came flooding to my eyes as tears fell. I remember the moment when I realized for the first time I was more than where I came from, what happened to me or how I once lived my life. 

It took too many painful moments, hours, days and years for me to unearth the treasures that indeed live and breathe within my soul underneath the rubble that I had to lift piece by piece.

Some days, the rubble was too heavy.
Some days the rubble was too broken.
And some days the rubble was surprisingly light when I would discover the joy amidst the pile.

What do you still need to unearth today?
Are you willing to walk into the pile and start lifting off the pieces, so you can find your joy?

Every day of our lives we are unearthing our true selves. I don't believe it ever ends. I think life is a constant excavation of who we are becoming and who we are meant to be amidst the rubble.

You began and will end a treasure. The life in between is up to you.

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​“Woundology” is a term coined by Caroline Myss to describe how people can become overly identified with their wounds. 

I believe that we all experience this process. Stop to consider why we stay wounded or within our pain than moving forward. Do you see it? We often know and understand our pain more than we identify with wellness. Life is challenging at any given moment, but we know how to sit in that pain. It can be comfortable, more comfortable than doing hard work to find a release in healing.

I wonder how we can step away from being defined by our wounds or stories of pain in a meaningful and sensitive manner that can allow us to honor our journey, but not be held back by it?

What if today we named just ONE strength, then proceeded to honor it. Just be with this process. Embrace gratitude and awareness around it. When the process feels easier and lighter, we choose another attribute. We keep doing this until we find ourselves releasing our wounds and the story that we held on to.

These wounds can be physical, emotional, or social. People with woundology may define themselves by their hurts, rather than their strengths. They may continue to re-expose the trauma to themselves and others. This can interfere with work, relationships, and life fulfillment.

Maybe when we can get to this place of healing and release, we will more fully understand how to honor, experience and breathe through our pain without it consuming us.

Why does it always feel like a deep grieving process when something comes to an end?
Are you able to see that an end can almost always become a beginning?

I know that I can have a tendency to hold on to grief longer than is needed. Grief that inevitably needed to occur. I have been fearful of beginnings at times for they are unfamiliar, leave an uneasy feeling of endless questions and uncertainty. but mostly leave me sitting in fear.

What if we were to celebrate our endings?
What if we were to approach our beginnings in gratitude rather than fear?

These are big questions. It is not for me to process them for you. Here I am offering a bit of reflection for you to face on your journey. 

What will you do with this nudge today?

“The present moment is the only time over which we have dominion. The most important person is always the person you are with, who is right before you, for who knows if you will have dealings with any other person in the future? The most important pursuit is making the person standing at your side happy, for that alone is the pursuit of life.”
– Thich Nhat Hanh

I know that for myself, there is always a moment in the day where I just want to grab a cozy blanket, escape to the couch with a hot cup of tea and be. 

Life is so full for all of us, no matter what your circumstances are for you. When you are trying to balance the intricacies of living, it can be overwhelming at any given moment. Recognizing the present moment as sacred is so important. We need to pause, find our breath, and nurture our body, mind, and spirit. You are the person you are always with. If you do not take care of yourself, then you are not leaving enough room to take care of others in your life. How about we look at this truth, pause and remember ourselves and then we can take this sentiment to those in our lives. 

It begins at our core, in our soul and through our breath....

“We have all known the long loneliness and we have learned that the only solution is love and that love comes with community.”  ― Dorothy Day, The Long Loneliness: The Autobiography of the Legendary Catholic Social Activist

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I have been struck lately in a stronger way than usual with the idea of community and what that really means. Every month I host a Candlelight Labyrinth Meditation walk. It is a 100% Community Service offering. My daughter helps me for her service hours, which I am truly grateful for, for doing it alone is not just a lot of work, but it is lonely. 

I have been told to let it go, for the numbers aren't high and it tends to cost me money I don't have to spare. So, why do I do it? I have known loneliness. I don't think there is a person out there who has not known loneliness. For those who embrace this idea too often, these events are where they find a connection.

I am truly inspired every month, whether it be one or thirty folks who come out in the course of 2.5 hours. Never has someone come and gone without connecting with me before or after. I felt the needed and welcome connection within them.

How are you acting as 'community' daily? Really think about this...do you show up? Do you put your actions where your beliefs are?

We are no one and nothing but alone without each other. That was the foundation of this beautiful woman's work. Dorothy Day did not see the problems of person. She looked past their physical being into their eyes and soul and said, 'welcome home.'

How can you be 'home' to someone today?

Do you know how to listen to your body? I know that sounds like a crazy question, but for some it is a foreign concept. I know for myself it is something I had to learn in recovery. Our bodies speak to us to so much more than we are actually listening. Imagine if we took more care and caution to listen to the wisdom within our bodies.  Today, take a moment to pause and listen to what is being asked of you within your body. It could be the pathway to healing a wound you weren't even aware needed attention.

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“And the moon said to me you do not have to be whole in order to shine.”  Anon
 
Becoming.

This is a loaded word. It is a loaded idea. When did it become so?
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When did the idea of needing to know who we are or who we are going to be at birth become the bottom line?
A favorited buzz phrase as people of all ages return to their education this month is ‘What do you want to be when you grow up?’

It pains me every time I hear it.

I still remember the pressure as a child in the days leading up to when returning to school as to what my answer would be. It was made even worse when you entered high school with the focus on college and beyond.

I remember feeling like no one was leaving me any room to become who I was meant to be. I needed an answer. I had to produce something clever and worthy of my teacher’s expectations of me.

To be honest, I have changed my focus many times throughout my life journey, and I am grateful for every time I tried something new. All of these experiences help me to become who I am meant to be.

On any given day we are becoming who we are meant to be. And most especially in an educational setting we are learning and growing with no end point. To ask a young child, let alone an adult what their life plan is to me, damaging. It suffocates them and leaves them no room to explore ideas, dreams, and the what ifs.

I love giving my kids so many different paths and ideas to walk down as fast or as slow as they wish. I do not for a moment want them to land on any one specific path for too long. That is not to say that I want them to walk through their education aimlessly, rather I want them to always be open to the possibility of more. Because, really when you stop to look at the bigger picture, there is no end point while we are living. We can try out as many different ideas as possible, as we are always becoming.

I personally have explored many different and diverse paths in my life; each one giving me new awareness to grow in a unique way. As I have landed in particular ways within my work, my imagination of all that I still want to become is alive and breathing on so many levels.

I never want to stop being curious! Do you?

Motivational Monday! I love this page because it always offers wonderful insights to oneself. This idea is a big one though at the same time simple. Yes, simple. If you really think about it all life begins and ends with ourselves; all change is not different. I recently was speaking with someone that once a person gets the chemical imbalance at a healthy place in recovery from substance abuse, it then becomes solely a choice if the person wants to change their lives for the better. This was clearly my experience after a 14yr battle with anorexia. When I made that choice, the transformation and spark of life was clearly awakened and the deeper connection to the body was made, making the room for even more healing. When I was able to do this, I was able to share that journey with others in order to help them clear a path for their healing. It is a beautiful domino effect. For in the end, we really are all walking each other into a better life on the journey.

These three photos really speak to this quote, my work, and my joy!

I will try to practice this quote daily. On days where I struggle beyond measure to remember my joy, I don't let myself take one step before I can name a joy, a gratitude, or a peace that I have known.

If I act in the emotions I am experiencing, frustration, anger, or sadness, then all that I do is going to come from this negative place within me. But if I am accountable for my emotions, then I am able to view the situation from a place deep within my soul thus allowing true JOY to rise to the surface.

The joy is there, it will always be there. But you are responsible for living with Soul and bringing it to the surface!

How can you change the direction of the day by living with this river of Joy calling out to you?

​Today’s Blog Thought is courtesy of Kim over at Shakti in the Mountains. It is not a new concept for me, as I have many different versions of an ‘Emergency Box’ on my journey. I wanted to be sure to share this unbelievably valuable resource as many of us begin new journeys heading into fall, especially students!
 
As parents, friends, and mentors we can’t always be available to those who need us. While we want to have all the answers for those who come to us questioning, it is impossible.
 
So, today, I encourage all of us to create an ‘Emergency Box.’ What is your go-to comforts when life comes at you full force? When you feel sad, alone, lost, tired, overwhelmed, or scared; for what will you want to reach?
 
Find a box and decorate it or use a box that is already special to you. Just start filling it up today, so that you can have all of the things for the moments you are feeling in need of more when a person can’t be there for you.
 
You’ve got this!
 
I have listed several ideas to get you started:
·  Chocolate or Favorite Tea Bags
·  Poems & Journals
·  Music Playlists
·  Favorite Comfort Clothes
·  Photos
·  Affirmation Cards
·  Candles
·  A Favorite Blanket
·  Art Supplies
·  Mementoes

What is your Inner Hermitage?

What a striking question? Do you even know what your inner hermitage looks like?
Are you taking enough time to pause within your day to consider this sacred place and time?

We are guilty of falling prey to the chaos that can fill our mind and body daily. If we don't take the time to be still, find our peace and embrace a moment to nurture our inner hermitage, then we are going to pay for it down the road.

Take a moment to consider what your Inner Hermitage is for you.

How do you live it, hold it, and let it surround you? Then go create a physical hermitage that balances your inner self.

Where can you go and find this time?
Where can you sit and surround your spiritual self in this mental image?
What sacred space can you create no matter how small that will guide you back to what is important?

One day this week I was feeling overwhelmed by thoughts, lists of things needing to be done and worry over life responsibilities. I decided to take a drive to one of my places that brings me a little joy, Trader Joes. Yes, a grocery store, but it really can bring me small amounts of joy. It is a two-hour drive and I planned to listen to a book and zoning out. 

Well, my plan had a few holes. For one, I was not into the book at that moment and changed to music. Then I encountered construction for most of the beautiful drive, which brought me more stress. I just realized in that moment that I had the power to change my day or let it sink me down. I started to sing a bit with my music and quickly let a little joy in. I think everyone should try car singing alone. There is something so freeing about releasing through music that I felt a bit better.

When I got to the store, I had a bit of anxiety for some reason. I wanted to get in and out without interaction. Was this even possible? My first stop was the flowers. I love flowers, but rarely buy them for myself. They are financial non-need. Today, I decided to buy the tiny bouquet for $4. It is small but filled with immeasurable joy and light as it sits on my desk right now. Then I began to shop. First off, this adorable girl came bouncing in front of me grabbing two salads and her joy was infections. I do not know what got in me, but asked her, 'are those good?' She exclaimed vibrantly, 'oh my gosh, soooooooo good!' It was so sweet as she held onto that sooooooooo that I said, 'ok' and picked up her suggestions. The rest of the shopping went on like that without being planned. I interacted with people quietly, but with simple joy. At one point I heard a salesperson say to another woman, 'no dancing in the store' as she was clearly having fun with the music. Everyone laughed then more people danced. I proceeded to check out and the man helping me was clearly full of his one engaging joy asking me about my purchases and intrigued that I drive so far for the store. It was not a lot, but it was enough to being a welcome calm and happiness.

As I was leaving, I was walking to my car and encountered a woman who has a strong stern look on her face. I do not know what she was thinking or dealing with but felt her energy. I really loved her blouse, so in a split second I piped up and told her so. Her entire face lit up, she smiled and exclaimed, 'thank you!' I was so moved that a simple sentence could change someone's entire day! The rest of the day, I simply was aware of my interactions and noticed how I came across people. 

Is life busy? Yes. Is life stressful? Yes. But, in the end we still choose how we walk through each day. You can let a mood take you down, or you can find one small thing to make it better. Life does not always have to be like this, and some days we just need to be in our quiet days and embrace whatever emotions we are feeling. It is plainly important to remember that you can also choose to let the light in at any given moment. You can choose the little things and joy