Loneliness in the Presence of Company

Photo by Maryn Murphy

My teens have been listening to some hard to hear music lately. They are evolving as teenagers in ways I remember on a different level; I am learning to breathe, pause and let them process through knowing I am here at any time they may want to talk. This one song with the title, ‘Loneliness in the Presence of Company,’ hit me in a way that it brought about intensified thoughts. The first time I heard it, it caught my attention. But then it was like an annoying bug that just would not go away.

Loneliness in the presence of company.

Those words kept ringing true for me as an introvert. More than often, I know I am standing outside the circle of those around me. I try not to let my past journey define my present, but the reality is it can do just that in deep hard ways on most occasions.

I believe there are countless for whom these words resonate, there are countless who walked this life with some type of pain and suffering that defined this sentiment. But we keep going. We keep going to survive. For if we stop for too long to consider doing something else, we can find ourselves truly alone.
​
Have you ever felt lonely in a crowded room of friends or family?

There are times when trying to connect with others can take more energy and should I say for some, courage. We throw around terms like introvert and extrovert lightly these days, but the hardcore truth and experience is real. We fear showing our true selves to others knowing we can be rejected. We pretend to know less than on a subject at times, for we do not want others to think we are better than them. Attempting to be oneself in this world is hard.

Enter feeling lonely in the presence of company.
​
Sadly, many of us take it a step further and resort to using different things to ease our anxiety or stress that while it helps in the moment, is not a solution that will last in the long term. It can be so incredibly difficult to face our demons, but if there is anything that I have learned in my mountainous journey is that when I do, I am better for it when I come out on the other side. Sure, I may be weary, exhausted, and even beaten down at times. But when I brush myself off and take a hard introspective look into my pain, struggle, or challenge, I am better for it.

But let us go deeper in the word loneliness. I do believe that a choice to be alone at times is also not a terrible thing. Taking a break from what can be an intense world around us can rejuvenate. Saying no to invitations can be a form of self-care.

It is difficult but possible to find what works for you to balance out your energy, emotions, and story on the path you are walking today. It is even possible to share with those who are closest to us these difficult feelings we experience, so they can understand how we can be in their presence and participate in different gatherings while knowing it is not one’s strong point.
 
How do you walk your journey with others?
How can you honor your loneliness in healthy and positive ways?
 
Today is a day like any other, you get to choose how you want to live it.

More Blog Posts here...