Fighting for My Health
I have been walking a journey of unexplained un-wellness for over a year and a half. I admit that it has gone on as long as it has for, I have stopped the investigation and started over more than once as I could not bear to deal with the incompetence of the medical field, but more than anything the blatant dismissal of my voice and how I listen to my own body. When someone makes you feel small with their ego enough times, it can be really hard to stand up for yourself repeatedly. I have not always been particularly good at listening to my body. For those who know me well or know of my books and work, I battled an eating disorder for over 14 years of my life in my young adult years. The entire basis of this journey was more to do about me not being able to listen to my body and the stories it was trying to tell. I had a disdain so great, a fear so dark that I chose to make it disappear rather than face the truth of what was behind it all. It took 14 years and then some, of recovery to release the pain and the trauma that previously would hide the stories within my body. Through that process I began to see how I lived my entire life afraid to listen to my body, afraid to admit if I was not feeling well and at a loss of how one takes care of themselves. I was raised in an environment where one did not speak up for themselves; it was deemed selfish or self-centered. Later it would become more clear talking about the stories within my body where the secrets no one wanted told were found. So, cut to today, and while I have found peace, healing, and a strength beyond my past; some life scars are still difficult to pass by. I let my health decline before I put myself in front of doctors for fear of ‘how I look’ ‘how I sound’ or ‘what if no one believes me?’ I often wait until I get into emergency situations when I am then forced to take care of my body for the pain or problem has become too great. A period a few years ago, I began having debilitating anxiety attacks to the point of countless ER visits with no explanation. Cut to two years later when a neurologist finally shed light on the fact that it was one of the most misunderstood and misinterpreted signs of perimenopause. I was so shamefully dismissed and drugged during that time as well, to find it was not my fault. Think about how many people walk these types of journeys alone and why depression and suicide rates are on the rise in this country. We need to share our experiences more, so that people do not feel so alone in their own life. That is where I find myself today. While the world walked in Covid the last two years, I too have been walking through perimenopause into the home stretch. I am no longer ashamed to say that I have lived with anxiety and depression my entire life. I am learning that this is a common denominator for most people. Where I take fault in the system is that every answer to any symptom I am experiencing is related back to these things above. I cannot imagine people who are walking this journey without support. For with my support system, I have had some pretty dark days, but they thankfully pushed me through. Chronic pain is real. Chronic exhaustion is real. Autoimmune disease I am learning is one of the hardest illnesses to diagnose. It is real. It has taken me longer than it should have, but I am finally getting some answers very slowly. Some of those answers have been a lot harder to hear than others, but I am grateful for the ability to prepare my children and my future accordingly. Other avenues I am still walking the path of discovery with as much faith and inner strength as I can, for I know my body deeper today than I ever have in my life. It is speaking loudly and asking me to fight for it. I will continue to do so…I was encouraged to share this today for those who are not as blessed as I am to have support telling me to keep going offering their hand and ear as I walk. I see you. Do not give up the fight. Do not quietly sit in pain alone when you do not have to. Trust your voice, trust your body and fight for your health. You are worth it. Life should not have to be lived in pain. No one should have to struggle alone. I am a believer of using one’s life and voice. We are walking a journey together and our stories can be each other’s guides and strength when we are searching for our own.
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It is why it is called a journey...we learn, grow and process as we walk our own path.
I don't believe it is meant to come easy. The gifts and blessings are in the 'hard' times. When you have the courage to embrace this truth, you live a life fuller than you can ever imagine. Today I celebrate women… I believe life is to be celebrated daily, blessings are to be counted hourly and not one second of any day should be taken for granted. I am blessed to have countless amazing women cross my path young and old, living and passed on, personal and strangers within my journey up until this point, for all of them I am thankful daily. I am thankful for the women who taught me strength by how they mirror their journey for me. I am thankful for the women who helped me find my voice when it was too deep into the darkness to find it alone. I am thankful for the women who taught me love can look like many different things and be experienced in just as many different ways. But, mostly, I am thankful that we are all deserving and capable of this love no matter what path we once walked prior.
I am thankful for the women who live their faith and share it in nonjudgmental and healing ways; that are always teaching me that it is not about perfection, rather than the truth in its action. And, I am mostly thankful for the women who define what I would like my journey on this earth to look like. They are not all mothers in the traditional sense, but they are most certainly all mentors. Every one woman on this earth is a teacher, a guide, a mentor and someone to be thankful for each every step of the way. We are a unique tribe and when we remember this daily we are able to constantly lift each other up when we need it, we are able to remember that life never has to be lonely as long as we look to each other. So, this day, to all the amazing women part of a wonderful tribe I am honored to be a part of, let’s not ever forget to show them what we are made of on this journey. How often do you take time to explore your personal journey beyond your own self-imposed definitions? How often do the limitations you quietly put on yourself intersect with the life you are aching to live? Why not fully embody, accept and discover the real you beyond what others see in you? Take time out today, connect to your wonderfulness and unique talents that make up you. Let your skills and passions come alive in each step you walk. Remember, there is only one you. And if you choose not to live the journey to its fullest, you are first one to be missing out in the graces that would follow. Let the wondrous spark of divinity flow connecting you to a spiritual plateau that is the essence of you who you really are.
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Next Women's Beach Retreat!Follow USOur YouTube ChannelAuthorAndrea creates, builds, and offers her teachings and hands on life tools based on her journey healing her body image after a 14yr battle and life of trauma. Her vision always is to help others live a full life with the journey they are given. Featured ProductCategories
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