Owning Our Pain Do you own your pain? What intense words. Many of us cannot even bare to acknowledge our pain let alone own it. We walk through this life doing everything in our power to ignore it, cover it up and dismiss it. To own our pain is to embrace its presence and the story that we walk alongside hand in hand. To own our pain is to admit that its presence is a core wound in our lives that has defined who we are today. To own our pain is humbly embracing our weakness knowing it is making us stronger for the steps we will take forward. To own our pain is to show our humanness, a common denominator for those paths we will cross. Pain is complicated. It breathes in the depths of our bodies seeping from our skin. I have experienced how it shows itself through physical ailments. It can speak through one’s body when we don’t have the words to speak of the pain. I have lived through pain in a mental capacity that captivates the soul and hides within one’s darkness until it is spoken aloud. These words and survival modes are not foreign, they are common. I believe most experience pain and emotion in similar ways; we just deny ourselves from talking about it. Why? Why are we so afraid to talk about something that is true and real for each of us? Our lives are lived often in a theater for the world to see only what we choose. We hold back. We keep within those stories of pain and human weakness close to our heart, for we fear we are alone. We fear what others think of us. We fear that one will only see us as weak. The truth is we are not alone. Each of us walks through the journey of life with stories. We walk with pain. We carry ourselves in ways to hide from the world. We need to stop the charade. It is time that we begin to walk together in the messiness of this life. The lessons learned in healing are what we offer to the person next to us. Then there is the other side of that idea where the pain we hold often leads us to not embrace our accountability. When we feel our pain, when we experience our pains core; we let it take on our lives in ways we wish we it hadn’t. It is easy to project what we are struggling through onto another. I have done this more than once in my life unknowingly, for the pain was too great to understand or process. I have had others hold me responsible unfairly for their pain, as they projected their journey into fault rather than owning their role in the pain that they suffered. We all can easily be a part of each other’s stories and pain, but we also need to recognize when it is ours to own. What role do you play in your pain? What role do you play in someone else's pain? Imagine if you could answer these questions in the healthiest of manners that would allow you to heal, to grow and be a presence on the journey for the person next to you who is suffering unknowingly. Embrace the gift in owning your pain.
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This week I posted about Blooming in Brokenness then I remembered this photo I took a few weeks ago. I love flowers, but they are a treat to have in the budget. This particular trip I took a photo to remind me of the beauty. This morning I woke thinking about blooming in our beauty. Some would call that ego; others would not even be able to embrace the idea. But why can't we celebrate when our path takes us towards the positive, the good and the beautiful? Why must it be compared to pride? I think it is just as important to celebrate the good than it is to reflect on the challenges. On our path there are moments where we truly earned the beauty that has been blooming around us. Life is hard on most days. Celebrate where you bloom in beauty the same way you take on every aspect of your life. Someone is sure to benefit from your experience!
This stood out to me today. This could really have so many different meanings for some. I can list three right off the top of my head. Last night and this morning I did something out of character, I engaged in an online post. I engaged very respectfully in an education mode around my work to something around body image. I did not receive the same polite response back. So, I tried to again respectfully explain where I was coming from, no attack and not trying to 'put anyone in their place.' I merely was offering up conversation to think a bit differently so that we could change a narrative that being one way, or another was the only way to be. Again, it was not received well. I apologized with my humble reasonings for the post and left the conversation. I did receive some positive feedback from others through my page, but I had to remember that you cannot change anyone but yourself. I can continue to educate and help through my work but going outside the realm into an unprotected thread is suicide. How are you participating in a problem where it has come time to simply, let go? How can you honor your feelings in a situation without being harmed emotionally in the process?
Blooming in Brokenness
What does it mean to ‘bloom in brokenness?’ Whether you want to see it, believe it, or embrace it, we all are broken in some way. We all are walking through this life finding our way, discovering our path, and trying to embrace our voice in the end. Our stories are the heart of that journey, and within those stories are our brokenness that teaches us the lessons of everyday living. Our brokenness heals us. I will say that again, our brokenness heals us. I know that sounds contradictory, but it is true. Our brokenness is ultimately what is challenging us to learn and grow from the wounds that life inflicted. When we bloom in our brokenness, we give meaning to the story. When we bloom in brokenness, we honor the bruises of our life and the weakened steps we climbed. We put aside shame and pride to accept our humanness. Our knees may be tired, pained and covered in grime from crawling through the mud of our life; that is in honesty the beauty within the blooming that is always happening through those pained moments. Without that grime, we do not get to see the seeds bloom that have been planted from the very beginning. Life is not meant to be a perfect garden; life is lived in the rocks. What is your brokenness? How have your wounds guided you to this moment in your life? Can you see the beauty within the pain? If you do not pause to take valued time to gaze at that pain, you are not honoring the journey it took to get to where you are standing today. Your pain is not bad. Your pain is not a Scarlett letter. Your pain is valuable. Your pain is a mark of living fully. You are living. You are breathing. You are always blooming. We are the first ones to always dishonor our pain. We look at the person to the right of us to see how they are living; we slowly glance to the person over to the left of us to see how they are managing in the mud. We compare our pain to their pain. When we do this, we disvalue the steps we are walking through our life with comments like, ‘it is not that bad.’ Is it to you? Is your brokenness valuable to you? That is all that matters in this moment. Honor it. Heal it. Let yourself bloom from the pain. Do not live in the mud when the garden’s beauty is calling you to share what you have learned. Bloom in your brokenness so that others could take in the beauty of you. Today I am walking in grief for someone who was very dear to me. She played the role of a mother in many ways, and I wouldn't be who I am today without her in my life. I am grateful to know she is free from pain and as another dear friend exclaimed to me, 'SHE IS WHOLE AGAIN!' Knowing this eases the pain, but I remember that grief is a journey, never a destination. I have lost many, too many, dear friends in my life who I still grieve years past. Each road through grief, I learn something new about myself and the journey I walked with the person who left this world. I embrace all my emotions, good and the not so good, knowing that they made up the relationship that I had with this person. That is love. That is gift. May you always remember that your grief has many layers and there are no time limits on when it is supposed to be healed in the end.
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Next Women's Beach Retreat!Follow USOur YouTube ChannelAuthorAndrea creates, builds, and offers her teachings and hands on life tools based on her journey healing her body image after a 14yr battle and life of trauma. Her vision always is to help others live a full life with the journey they are given. Featured ProductCategories
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