Catching My Breath
I have anxiety; I am not defined by anxiety. I am not broken; I am catching my breath. Anxiety is not one size fits all. Anxiety is not consistent. Anxiety tells a unique story for each person who is walking in its steps. The story is theirs alone; your only job is to listen. A person with anxiety will wake on most days with the weight of the world resting on their chest. They will spend every waking moment trying to take back their life from this undefinable heaviness that steals their breath; a breath that rarely comforts. A person with anxiety will fight every morning past wanting to stay in the safety of their bed, rather than face the uncertainty of the day before them. A person with anxiety plays a constant reel in their head with every scenario of how they can escape interacting with others; a battle that is never won having to be in the world. A person with anxiety will turn down invitation after invitation so often that soon they are few and far between. A person with anxiety will make themselves believe that the world does not need them to exist within it; they do not know their worth. Anxiety is isolating. Some days, my breath does not come. Some days, I do not get out of bed. Some days, I do not leave the house. Some days, I cannot see my worth. Some days, it is bigger than I can hold. Anxiety is an intimate struggle, a personal fight. Anxiety shows itself through unexplained emotions. Anxiety is immeasurable stress that leads to panic. Anxiety can often be misplaced anger and short-tempered outbursts. Anxiety is the despair and silence that falls upon a person mirroring depression. Anxiety is deafening amidst a constant battle within. I struggle with anxiety; I am not defined by anxiety. I am not broken; I am catching my breath. It is often said to, ‘just breathe.’ A person with anxiety knows how to breathe. A person with anxiety may be battling a chemical imbalance. A person with anxiety may be recovering from a trauma. A person with anxiety likely has too many stories silenced. I live in the world with my anxiety. I live in the world with my heaviness. I live in the world with my stories. I live in the world with my voice. I live in the world just trying to hold myself up. I struggle with anxiety; I am not defined by anxiety. I am not broken; I am catching my breath. To the loved one who is walking with someone who is struggling with anxiety; it is not about you. They are just trying to catch their breath most days. To the friend who is taking it personally that the one who is struggling with anxiety will not return your texts or invitations; it is not about you. They can’t stop their mind long enough to form a thought; they can’t see their value as to why you are still here. To the stranger who may see the person with anxiety in the world looking desolate and alone; a smile through your eyes will go further than you could possibly imagine. Do not look through them; see them. They struggle with anxiety; they are not defined by anxiety. They are not broken; they are trying to catch their breath. I struggle with anxiety; I am not defined by anxiety. I am not broken; I am catching my breath. I live in the world. Every day I am just trying to begin again.
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Well, how about that? On any given day we are all exhausting ourselves with how to fix what we think is broken on our journey. So much so, that we fail to see what is good! What if today we chose to see the good? What if today we decided to add one good thing to our day, instead of pointing out the negatives? What if we made a commitment to honor our presence, our lives and the path that is in front of us, instead of the path we think we are supposed to be on? What if...?
Do you pour your heart into everything you do?
It seems like a simple question but consider it. I know that some days it is easier to get through a task with speed rather than quality. We live in a time where checking off our to do list can often be more important than the quality of what we are doing. Why is this? Why is it so hard for us to pause? We need to remember ourselves along the way. We need to put all our energy and passion into our tasks striving for the best outcome. Life is short, we have no idea of our time limits in this world. Don't you want to put your very best forward, knowing you left something of value in the world? Consider it in whatever next task you take on...and pour your heart into it! I love this statement. First, patterns. We all have them. They are often more visible than you think. We normally know when we are in a pattern that is not necessarily supporting our lives. The problem is we struggle to have the courage to break those patterns. Patterns are often comfortable. They can make life easier in the short term, no doubt.
But we must pause and ask ourselves if these patterns are serving us well on our journey? Do the patterns we create bring us life? Are your patterns holding you back? Only you can answer that question. Then there is the other side of this idea. Often when we are looking within and taking care of ourselves, it can feel selfish. It can have a deep connotation of 'me first' that feels too focused inward. In reality 'me too' is self-care. It is remembering that we are a part of the story. How can you continue to say, 'me too' and support our lives to the fullest? Give yourself permission to pause and reflect today. Bonds. Bonds can be very defining and special in ways you may discover more deeply as the decades pass, I have found. I am blessed to have a handful of friends who have been with me over three and four decades of my life. I have shared that with my daughter as her heart has hurt more in the past several months when her closest friend moved away. While we are visiting, I can see that they both have honored and realized that their bond isn't nor can be broken, only nurtured in new ways. Once in person they picked up as if it were yesterday that they saw each other. I am blessed to know that feeling as well. Do you hold back making friends for fear of loss? What risk are you holding back? Try and consider the gift of bonds that can add to your life in indescribable ways today!
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Next Women's Beach Retreat!Follow USOur YouTube ChannelAuthorAndrea creates, builds, and offers her teachings and hands on life tools based on her journey healing her body image after a 14yr battle and life of trauma. Her vision always is to help others live a full life with the journey they are given. Featured ProductCategories
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