Fall, Letting Go & Attraversiamo
Three words that grab hold of my heart this time of year.
I find the beauty of Fall with its intricate offerings in the few months that it bookends inescapable. There truly is something for everyone to take away in reflection on their journey; if so inclined to pause, look and listen. The decision of which path you will walk and embrace as the year winds down to a close is ultimately yours. I have written often of living each day with intention, rather than holding ourselves to such specifics with resolutions in the New Year. But this walk is of a different nature, rather than intention.
As the Fall Equinox approaches each year, I most look forward to reflecting over that which has not served me well in the several months prior. I consciously make a choice to face that which I need to let go and release from my core energy, before I can allow for the dark of winter solstice to claim my soul in all its vulnerability. It is in that vulnerability, where the depth of healing can begin. And, it is in that vulnerability that intentions will slowly be born for the forthcoming Spring.
As the leaves poetically turn their glorious colors and dance gently to the ground, I am reminded of the process of ‘letting go.’ I believe that we all have pieces of our lives that we want to release at any given time. We are in a season, if you will, where it is more prominent than ever. Fall is giving us the permission to let go of those ills and walk towards the Solstice. Fall is challenging us to be more, to be better. When we embrace the release, we are more open to sit in the darkness of solstice with more ease. As we embrace the darkness, we can begin to trust the light that will break through at the end of the process. We can allow ourselves in our vulnerability to be open to that which will come our way to bloom in the Spring.
Every winter as the soulful darkness creeps up on me; it never fails to hold the inner depths of my emotions that I have failed to express on a level all its own. The brisk cold sinks in to my bones re-awakening my process. This is when I am reminded to not let those darker moments of life define me, rather, heal me. I refuse to run from this darkness as I had in my younger years. I choose to challenge myself to sit with the uncomfortable truths, until I find my balance.
I am challenging you to sit with your own darkness and emotions this approaching Solstice. What story will they reveal? What gift are they going to offer you to bring into the new year?
It is a time to wait with eagerness as we approach the New Year with anticipation for our personal resolve to move towards something new. By walking through this process, we can find gratitude in the darkness that will consume our winter; our deeper story. I honor that it is not an easy path to risk walking. When we value those gifts in any darkness and struggle, they will add to our story in ways that will bring new understanding. This understanding allows for our ‘Spring’ to come in fully.
This beautiful Italian word has held meaning for me the last year more than ever as I put closure to aspects of my life. Its meaning, ‘crossing over,’ fits perfect into the poetic days of Fall, Solstice and the far-off approaching Spring. This process allows for us to cross over and bring life into the forthcoming Spring. Notice, I will stay away from the resolutions of the New Year, for life isn’t about an end-all. The process is ongoing. At times we can feel like our Fall comes in the middle of the year. We must embrace these moments wherever we find ourselves, in order to move forward.
Recently, I wrote a piece on Putting Yourself Back into the Equation. A much easier piece to write than act on. While I keep thinking I clarified the specifics of self-care, something comes to my attention to change my priorities. I have never been one to ignore a dream or my passion, though I am keenly aware that I have many more responsibilities today, than I did in my early twenties. So, as I am forced to notice in searching for one’s sense of self, it can seem that everyone’s lives look so much better than my own. This is my ‘letting go.’ I am needing to sit in the darkness, which is watching others fulfill their aspirations as my responsibilities take hold. My ‘Attraversiamo’ is trusting that my time will come when the passion and inspiration of my ongoing dreams, will come to full fruition. It is not an easy process, but I must own it. If I trust the process, I know I will make it happen in its right time.
The interesting awareness that came to me this Fall which allowed me to ‘cross over’ was recognizing no good can from comparing one’s journey to another’s. When I try to walk a path not meant for me, only negative outcomes come from this experience. It was never my path to own. What this time of reflection in the Equinox has allowed me to accept is that perhaps any one of my visions were put out there to plant the seed in someone who is more available to bring them to fruition. It doesn’t lessen what I have to offer by any means, but it is in truth being offered all the same. My goal was always for these pieces of my vision to come to fruition in the world. Ultimately, I want the lessons learned from my healing journey to help others. I don’t need to be in the equation. As I reflect in these passing learning moments, trusting in the process of ‘letting go’ and crossing over; I have found where my ultimate gifts lie. The challenge for me will be to own my fear and doubt in the process. I know what direction I am meant to walk. I know that my story is valuable. I trust that piece. I will honor the time frame that I do not get to set.
What will you choose to let go of this fall?
How will you sit in your darkness?
Will you take the risk to cross over?
*Locals note I will host a Winter Solstice Bonfire. Stay tuned for details.
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